Update

For those wondering....I'm okay.

I have a liver malfunction called NASH. What this means is basically my liver doesn't process fats into energy which means I had to eliminate most fat, all red meat, most dairy and most sugars from my diet. There are a few other things that I physically need to work on but all in all, nothing that cannot be corrected, hopefully.

So NASH is what happens to your liver when it is no longer able to process fat into energy which then leads to fat building up in and around it. It typically happens to severely obese people in the late stages of fatty liver as well as extremely malnourished people as their body refuses to burn fat for fear of starvation. And those who drink too much alcohol can get it as well but then it is called ASH. None of those scenarios fit what was happening to me though....so it was a little bit harder to pin-point what was causing my liver to slow down. Thankfully, we pin-pointed it.

A good portion of this is linked directly to my birth control pill that I had been taking since wee-bit was born....too much estrogen has a way of screwing up your gallbladder, liver and kidneys. It should have been an obvious warning sign when I had to have my gallbladder removed a year after wee-bit was born but obviously it wasn't caught. I'm off the pill now. Thankfully I am doing really well as far as not going through the emotional roller-coaster that I once was on, which was basically the whole point of the pill to begin with.

As for the rest of my life.............

At the end of August, I made a career path change. Initially I began to transition parts of my job to another co-worker based on the idea that I may be out of work for a brief period of time and we needed a backup plan. But then the idea of changing jobs all together began to grow on me. My position was becoming too stressful and I wasn't performing at my best any longer due to my health. But then, the idea of change began to look appealing when I calculated how much money I could possibly make in another role. And so my decision to move into sales was formed.

A part of me really wanted to prove I could take this leap into a new environment. But there is a large part of me that wasn't ready for it which is seeming to add to my being stressed. It's not that I can't do it. I know I can and proved I can this past month. It's just so outside of my element that it's really hard for me to adjust to. So we add the fact that I do not want to fail at my new excursion, the fact that my (now) ex-boss has become a jerk over the last 3 months, the fact that we've lost really good people in the course of 2 months and that those who are still there are stretched severely thin and you've got a recipe for losing sleep. And so here I am......in a new position with added stress........resenting my decision as well as my illness.

I've actually been rethinking my career path a lot this weekend. I'm not sure if sales is for me....I never really thought of it as being something I'd do. But here I am and just as I feared, I'm not happy. I'm not too sure if I'm battling with the fact that I'm in "sales" or I'm struggling with the fact that I'm starting my career from scratch. I mean, I'd have to start from somewhere at the bottom regardless of what career I change into. And over all, sales isn't bad. It's actually kind of fun. But the politics.....the bullshit that goes along with it.....so frustrating!!!!! It's like working around a bunch of teenagers and they're all out to win some popularity contest amongst themselves. Seriously, I was never one of the gals who hung out with the popular crowd. I knew all of them but never joined in to their ridiculous games. Yet, I've put myself right in the heart of it. So maybe it's the superficial culture I don't like.....maybe it's becoming aware of how much of a backstabbing ass my ex-boss is.......maybe it's my ex-boss telling me that I really wasn't any good at being a manager and that I'm too creative for logical processes after so many years of doing just that and doing it well......maybe it's losing so many good people in such a short time....maybe it's the uncertainty of where I'm really heading..........maybe it's all of it.

*SIGH* I obviously have to get through this or else it's going to bite me in the ass.

Brandon is coming along really well with his school. He passed his first certification and is about to take his second certification test on Tuesday. Since he's still about 8 weeks ahead of schedule, he's considering taking it a step further and becoming certified as a Network Engineer. I think he should do it. I can't say how proud I am of him. Every chance I get, I tell people how awesome he's doing and how proud I am of him for taking this road. I look forward to seeing how well this pays off for him and I'm eager to see if he'll enjoy this new career. I think he will since there is never a time when you aren't learning and I think that type of environment will serve him well.

Wee bit is still doing really well also. She still has her occasional bad days but they are getting better. It still kills me that I can't do more for her right now....I so much wanted us to have been moved and her settled into a new school where she could be around a more pleasant environment. Alas.....some things get pushed off and we do what we can.

Maybe it's the fact that things haven't happened the way I want them too in general that's' got me so down about my new position.....maybe?

I need to try and get some sleep and so I bid you all adieu for now. I'll keep you all posted.